Q. How do you get a drummer to play an accelerando?
A. Ask him to play in 4/4 time at a steady 120 bpm. |
Q. How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
1."Hey man, I just do sound."
2. One. Upon finding no replacement, he takes the original apart, repairs it with a chewing gum wrapper and gaffa tape, changes the screw mount to bayonet mount, finds an appropriate patch cable, and re-installs the bulb fifty feet from where it should have been, to the satisfaction of the rest of the band.
3. Three! One to hold the bulb and two to drink 'till the room spins. |
Q. What's the least-used sentence in the English language?
A. "Isn't that the keyboard player's Porsche?" |
Q. How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
1."Why? Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?"
2. Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.
3. Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
4. None. They have a machine to do that now |
Q. Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?
It took two hours to get the drummer out. |
Q. Why do bands have bass players?
A. To translate for the drummer. |
~~REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN~~
A guitar has a volume knob.
If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs £0.50 for a new one.
You can unplug a guitar.
If your guitar doesn't make the sounds you like, you can retune it.
If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set.
You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to “your” liking.
You can go to a guitar shop & play all the guitars you want for free.
You can rent a guitar without worrying who rented it before you.
A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it. |
Q. What do you get when you put a diminished chord together with an augmented chord?
A. A demented chord!! |
